Middle School Versus High School

Three months into teaching high school after eight years of teaching middle school, and I can't say I've looked back much except to say: teaching high school is amazing!  Middle school made me who I am, and I am grateful for all the experience I had teaching sweet sixth graders, trying-to-figure-it-all-out seventh graders, and already-grown eighth graders.  I have moments when I share with colleagues that "I come from middle school," as I count down for quiet, teach the students how to give thumbs up/thumbs to the side/thumbs down as a formative assessment, or instruct the class on clapping it up to celebrate an otherwise overlooked success.

And there are times when I say "I had a middle school moment," as I flashback to the sunflower seeds  (see post here) that I found on the plush carpet of the Lincoln Center theater where my sixth graders had just finished viewing a Shakespeare play, or when I think of the time when my scrawny, 11 year-old runner ran off into the crowd outside of the Museum of Natural History.  In those moments, I have to remind myself that the trauma of middle school is over and the beautiful parts-- the handmade decorations with stickers, markers and glitter; the apology letter in the form of an essay with a quoted piece of text evidence from the Bible that I got after a minor incident; and the Holiday gift exchanges and luncheons complete with table clothes and chip appetizers that we used to have in my self-contained days--  will forever be part of me.

Already there have been, and I am sure there will continue to be, many times when my middle-school-teacher skill set will serve me well.  I guess it's time for me to revise my four-word teaching story from "self-contained, six years" to something that does my experience justice more so than "I survived middle school."  Until then, I'm happy to be with students who are past that stage of intense hormones and figuring out all the newness that translates into unpredictable, stressful-for-adults behavior.   And I'm realizing daily that high schoolers are just as playful and wanting to learn as middle schoolers.  They also still tell it like it is, though they may be a little less mean harsh.  Nonetheless, I am grateful to continue having the opportunity to learn as I teach and to witness academic and emotional growth of many.

Love.
Miss M

Teaching High School: A Reflection

Two full weeks of high school under my teaching belt, and here's what I've noticed this far:

  

While I've joked that I can't escape middle school-- seriously, like when grown folk are having tantrums on the street or adolescents are turnt up rowdy on the subway-- teaching middle school will forever be the foundation from which I compare and understand my experiences. 

There are the 9th graders who remind me of my 6th graders with their sweetness, intelligent naiveness and overall bright-eyed newness; there are the eager-to-learn-and-question, playfully, 10th graders who are a larger version of the rambunctious 7th graders I have most definitely taught in my past; and then there are the awesome, slightly grown 11th graders who I have the pleasure of teaching and are reminiscent of a mature eighth grade group I had one year.

Also, there's also the fact that I recognize older versions of students  I've had along the way who made it through the often-struggle that is middle school into a good high school. And in some ways, I made it through too. I taught in places that seriously struggled to function in simple ways. Yet, there were always great educators-- some teachers, some administrators, some paraprofessionals-- who through their great work and support of me, helped me become who I am today:   An educator who was able to seamlessly transition from a school where behavior precedes teaching, to one where the kids are ready to learn (all kids want to learn) and teachers are given the autonomy to teach any way they please. 

I am truly grateful to have the ability to recognize that even in those who were strong in some aspects and weak in others, have something to teach me. That openness has allowed me to learn from many, many people and even more situations. 

On that note, middle school will always hold a special place in my heart, and as I've  always said, I'll say again: middle school is everything they say it is and more. Here's to new experiences and realizations as I continue on in my ninth year as an educator. 

Love. 

Miss M

Goodbyes and Letting Goes

I was digging through my keepsakes recently, and I came across a large, poster-size, good luck card that students and teachers at my first school made for me.  It was basically done yearbook style with each person writing a message to me before signing it.  Sigh.  A big part of teaching is saying goodbye and letting go.  Sometimes a student moves away midyear or switches schools.  Sometimes a student graduates and leaves for their next step, and sometimes a teacher decides to make a career change of sorts.  This affects not only the students, but also the colleagues.

It has been a while since I last reflected on the nature of a teacher's constant goodbyes.  A big part of teaching is forming relationships, working closely with colleagues and students, all with one purpose of academic and social-emotional success.

The things that my students wrote to me on that card were so touching and important to remember.  In the darkest moments of teaching, in the battles that are sometimes faught and when it seems like hope may not really be present, I am reminded of the lasting impressions made.  While I haven't been able to personally close the achievement gap, children have learned from me and I from them.  And just like the late, great Maya Angelou said: people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. 

As I reflect on the final day of this school year that I truly thought would never end, I am grateful once again. I have taught; I've reflected; and I've grown. Isn't that what it's all about?  While I have decided to move on to a new teaching position, I know that my last two years teaching sixth grade-- working with colleagues, problem solving culture issues and eventually trying new things-- contributed to my growth as an educator, and most importantly as a person.  With that, I will be taking all that I've learned and continue on my professional journey in a new setting, with the acceptance that a large part of teaching is saying goodbye and letting go.

Until next time,
Miss M

Projecting Pretty (In Attitude and Dress)

Girl About Town lipstick by M.A.C. and J.Crew light pink stud earrings.

A co-worker called me on my attitude a few weeks ago, and I am all the better for it.  I was going through a frustration spell, where the patience I'm generally known for had completely dissolved. The children were being themselves, comfortable middle schoolers who want to talk and play as much as allowed. And I, I was being short and snippy.  There was a moment where my usual self was attempting to break through by means of a teaching moment.  A student was being rude, and when I broke down what was happening, I used the word "unpleasant."  That was when my colleague who was close by to overhear the interaction told me that the way I've been lately was also unpleasant.

In that moment, all I could say was "thank you" and mean it.  That was the part of me that knew what was said to be the truth and was willing accept it.  I had to humble myself and listen because how I had been presenting myself really wasn't who I am as an educator, nor who I am as a person.

Of course,there is a reason behind most things.  My work environment has been crazy this year, and I was starting to take on some qualities as means of survival that were unpleasant.  In the time since this interaction, I've reflected on what I want in a workplace and in a school community, and realized that my current placement was not it.  I did the best I could there; but a poor fit cannot be made right just like an ill-fitting shoe will never work without pain, corns, blisters and other unpleasantness.

As I wrap up my eighth year of teaching, it's more important to me than ever that I can be myself at work and be successful.  More about that later.  Here's what I wore on a sunny day in June.

H&M dress, sandals from DSW

What I love about this dress is that it's a zip up.  I realize that when I shop for clothing, I shop according to cut and shape.  Everything is is secondary.  In this case, I picked up this dress because I knew it would be very flattering on my figure.  The high neck is appropriate for work, but the fitted bodice compliments while the flare skirt accommodates.  I can wear this dress comfortably on my bike, as I did on this day.

party on my arm!  Fossil watch and assorting bracelets

With three more days of work, I realize that I didn't even get to have a proper countdown.  And that is exactly how I prefer a school year to end.

Love,
Miss M

Being Myself at Work

A co-worker told me I looked sparkly today, and shiny.  Yes, I'll take it!  While my response was, I needed a little shine today, honestly, I enjoy sparkle everyday.  The older I get, the more I realize that I'm the type of woman who uses her favorite perfumes as she pleases, wears her lipsticks daily and does her best to live life fully.  If not now, then when?

Express dress, Gap 1969 denim shirt, Hue tights, Frye Regina pumps

One of my affirmations today, said in front of the mirror before getting dressed went something like: Thank you Universe for one more day to be myself.  More than the leather dress, this meant taking time to address and nurture social emotional learning.

I had an impromptu discussion with students today after class.  I always knew my students are dealing with all kinds of issues, but what I heard today bought tears to my eyes.  While I don't think a teacher should cry tears of frustration or anger in front of her pupils, I felt comfortable sharing drops of empathy with my students today.  Life can be hard, especially when it is out of your control.  But my message to all is, it gets easier. Learn from today, put your work in where it counts, and believe the future can get better.  It will.

bow mid ring and gold ring from Forever 21

On that note, I thoroughly enjoyed my outfit today.  Why not sparkle at work?  I believe in showing up in life.  I may be hours behind in sleep and with a never-ending to-do list, but that doesn't mean I can't do my best work.  What that looked like for me today was showing up in my faux leather dress that I eventually covered in chalk, and a tiny midi ring.  Yes.  Life is good.  As I prefaced the message I shared with my students earlier, I am blessed.  And while the discussion I faciliated wasn't planned, nor was it Common Core States Standards aligned, it was socially and emotionally relevant.  In my eighth year and current placement, I am struggling to find the space to do what I deem necessary: teach the whole child.



With that said, I enjoyed my mix of neutrals.  The blue tights were a nice touch to the denim shirt and leather dress look.  The brown leather pumps played off of the gold necklace and watch nicely.  As much as I wanted to wear my Heroine lipstick today, I figured purple lipstick and a leather dress would simply be too much for my kind of work.

Until next time,
Miss M

13th Grade

How to deal with challenging co-workers.

I often joke that teaching is like being in the 13th grade. Things you thought you left behind in high school continue in the workplace.  And sometimes it's like we never left middle school.

Sigh.

The gossip: do you best not to partake. The same way you are including in the session, is just as easily you'll be the topic of discussion.  I never forgot when during my first week of my first year teaching, I was involved in a large gossip session at lunch. No one knew me and I didn't know them, but it didn't matter.

The competition: know that there is room for all of us to be successful. Address undercover negative comments with a question such as, "What do you mean by that?"  Or if you prefer to speak through actions, ignore attempts by others to engage you in unnecessary competition, and know it really isn't about you.  I have experienced competition dealing with whose class a group children like best to my teacher wardrobe. People will compete with you even when you are simply being yourself.

The sabotage: it's not all about stealing brooms, teacher books and even furniture, sometimes things get ugly. Learn from these experiences-- for starters, write your name on everything!-- but remain open though wiser. Most people won't go to the level some will. My second year teaching, also the year I begrudgingly taught science, a colleague gave me high school textbooks to use with my self-contained students. Months later, in my struggles, I showed it to someone else and we realized it was not a 10th grade textbook, and most certainly not what the general education 8th graders were using.  I've also had, in addition to the previously mentioned items, a projector stolen (and recovered) as well as personal bangles lent to a cultural exhibit for Black History Month (read about that lesson here).

The attitude: each day is a new day. It helps to be cordial with all but know that some colleagues will not return a greeting, and it is not personal.  My first few years, I greeted each adult I crossed paths with. Eventually I realized some were not responding to me, but actually giving me looks.  Fact is: there are many grumpy, unhappy-with-life people in the workplace; do your best not to become one of them.

And when it comes to middle school antics, like you're sitting in my seat when there are no assigned seats during department meetings or it's not my fault that I was invited on the trip when you're really discussing self-contained students being including on a grade-wide trip and not a party invitation, stay on the higher ground.  Keep it professional as you address what you must, and then let it go.  At the end of the day, you are the one who is putting your best foot forward at all times. Don't succumb to mean person or petty antics. And when it's time to leave the school building for the day, leave it all behind. You have a full life to live, so go forth and enjoy the second part of your day.

Love,
Miss M

TL: Students Deserve Honest, Yet Sensitive Feedback

The school year is off to a great start-- my new co-teacher is awesome, we're establishing consistent routines and procedures and my new curriculum is engaging, as well rigorous and thorough. In addition to rolling out our intense unit on the second day of school, we are also actively establishing our classroom culture as we revise, add on and re-teach expectations and procedures. It is a lot of work!  Sixth graders need structure, structure and structure.  It takes time to teach procedures so that they are rooted enough to last the whole year. Our challenge so far is to condense and teach lessons that are meant for longer class periods, as well as teach to our classroom culture. Nonetheless, are getting it done!

I'll post some classroom photos soon. Yesterday, I had a mini realization. I realized that students want honest feedback even if its something they don't want to hear. I was giving feedback during one of our many group discussion based lessons, and I focused on the positive about a particular group. They then self-assessed and shared their negative which is that a specific group member was not participating. I had noticed this and addressed it with little success.  While I didn't want to call out a specific student and focus on the negative when the rest of the group was great, they wanted and expected me too.

Teacher lesson: honest, though sensitive feedback is key. Likewise, when it came to the group that had conflicts most of the period-- from who would be the group manager and why to how the note taker was taking notes-- I addressed their struggles while giving them acknowledgement for getting it together in the end, as evidenced by the work they produced. 

I realize my tendency to focus on the positive is part who I am, and part six years as a special educator teaching 12:1:1 classes. However, in my new inclusion setting, the students are not as fragile and deserve honest, yet sensitive feedback.   

Love,

Miss M

From a Summer Perspective

Thankfully, my usual extreme level of patience has lasted me nearly the entire year.  Unfortunately it has run out.  I need the summer, with its freedom, endless sun rays and actual vacations, to replenish my depleted supply of patience.

Children tend to fare decently when I run out of patience.  It surprises them, but they're okay.  It's the adults that should worry. 

**I initially drafted the above June 11th.  Summer has been awesome.  I don't even remember what that was about.

Note to self during the future trying moments I will have this upcoming school year.  It is possible to truly let everything go and forget.  Come summer, it won't even matter.

Love,
M

Sixth Graders Are Strange!

One year of teaching sixth grade has taught me so much!  Sixth graders are just strange.  On Friday, a student crawled under his desk after going up to the SMARTboard for his turn during our Spelling Bee game challenge, and cried.  This was during a friendly, supportive activity, where students were partnered and could call on help.  Today, another student stumble-walked across the classroom wearing one chunky, Jordan-type sneaker and one Converse shoe with a very flat sole.  My co-teacher told her to walk properly and she hobbled.

I don't mind silliness at all, but lately I find myself wondering: how will my sixth graders fare in seventh grade?  Are they ready?  Will the tantrums, expectations of hand-holding, extra tears cease magically in September?  I hope so.  Prior to teaching sixth grade for the first time, I've never seen so much crying in school over little to nothing.  I also have never seen middle schoolers work so much and learn as much as my sixth graders did under the new Common Core Learning Standards.

More reflections to come as I wrap up this year and begin my seven summer vacation since becoming a teacher.

Love,
Miss M

TL: Sixth Graders Need Structure

What I've learned from eight months of teaching sixth grade: big changes happen in sixth grade year. Seventh grade remains the most challenging, but anticipate changes. Sixth graders go from elementary school babies to true middle schoolers.  Create structure, structure, and more structure.  Sixth graders want and need you to tell them how to do every, and I mean every, little thing.  That I know now.

Teacher Lesson: Sixth graders need structure.

TL: Sometimes Students Say it Best

I love when a student says something to another that a teacher only wishes she could say without ramifications.  In my small group, one of my ELLs (English Language Learners) who has completely changed his attitude towards school checked another student who is classified as learning disabled and is an emerging reader.  The former student was trying to get his work done and the latter was being disruptively loud in his off-task behavior. 

He said:  "if you don't like school, go outside then!  Don't come here no more!  Right, Miss M?"

I said with a deep and sideways nod, "that's true."  But then I added, "What _____ is saying is, school is not a place for play. When you come here, be ready to learn."

I'm learning that sometimes children say it best. The off-task kid got on task and was quiet for the rest of the period. 

Teacher Lesson: Each one, teach one, also includes students teaching checking each other. 

Love,

Miss M

Everybody is Not Going to Like You

The student I mentioned with a chip on her shoulder struck again. I was walking down to the lunch room, a place I don't like going because it is crazy and dangerous with all the energy, to get my students for tutoring.  I overheard her saying: I don't like her to two students who do "like" me.

I jumped in saying: You're not going to like everybody. And everybody is not going to like you. That's a life lesson. The sooner you learn it the better. She didn't like what I was saying. Probably because I was right in feeling she was talking about me.

The girls, who are quite mature and have their own troubled history but have turned around, agreed with me saying: Yup, she's right.

And that was that. I've taken to giving life lessons to students when they least expect it. Keeps me sane, and may even teach them a thing or two.

Love,
Miss M

TL: Adults are Sometimes Worse Than Kids

Teacher Lesson: I learned in my third year of teaching that sometimes the adults are worse than the kids.  Often teachers watch out for students swiping our belongings (more about that later), but it can be a fellow teacher stealing right from under your nose.  As it happened...

A teacher was doing a display on Africa, so I bought in some Congolese malachite bracelets.  I didn't think to count them, as they were just going across the hall. The display ends a week later, things are returned.  I didn't think to count them then either.

Fast forward to several weeks later. I'm sitting in the library during a student assembly, and my bracelet walks by. I look up to see who this arm belongs to and I see a woman, Ms. T.

I've never been one to seek out confrontations, but I knew I had to act fast.  I asked my in-the-school-building-confidant and he adivsed me to "go tell her, she's wearing the bracelet you're missing."  I did just that.

She stuttered and lied that a student gave it to her, and then offered me ALL of her bracelets.  I stayed  focused to the one that I wanted-- the one that was mine.  She gave it to me.  I later asked said student, who responded saying, "No!" and "I told you, Ms. _____ lies!"

Lesson learned. Things disappear in a school building.  To name a few: a grammar workbook from the copy room (after that I learned to write my name on everything!), my usb drive, a surge protector (such a teacher steal!) and a few brooms.

All a teacher can do is label her things, search for missing items when necessary and live and learn.

Act With Understanding

I continue to learn about myself in teaching, and in life.  I understand too much. Sometimes you just need to act.  Interestingly enough, this is what I named as my flaw in my final interview for my current teaching position, and I am just now realizing the depth of it.

In the classroom, having a deep understanding of people and an interest in understanding children is important.  I am able to see good qualities in all children; I welcome the task of unmasking the different intelligences that children have; I enjoy cultivating positive class culture with an understanding of the varying needs.

Successful teaching demands a level of understanding.  However, that child who possesses a deep anger, as a few that I have met over the years, needs to be understood when he catches an attitude without reason.  I can reprimand teach a child how to speak to people who have nothing to do with his anger when his is angry.  But when this angry child throws a punch in the middle of class, there must be an action in the form of a consequence.  To do nothing would be a true disservice, as a teacher's job as teachers is to teach students to be full and productive, participants in society. 

Understanding is a also significant part of my dealing with people outside of the classroom.  I prefer to understand a person's situation, outlook, mindset instead of judging first.  I like to know why people do what they do, and how their lives are.  However, I am realizing that the energy it takes to understand on a deep level is draining.  What about me?  The teacher?  The whole person?  Attempting to understand a situation, or a person, does not dissolve it.  The situation that perplexed in the first place often remains with the only change being, less concentration on other things that need attention.

Thus, I am learning once again that balance is key.  Whereas I initially sought balance between my work life and my life, I also need to balance my understanding with action.

And that I am.

Love.
Miss M.

TL: Monitor Your Energy Closely

Teacher Lesson: I learned on my second day of teaching ever, you cannot out yell a student.  When a student's energy is negatively high, monitor your energy closely.  Come down in voice, choose your words carefully, and breathe.

That was also the day I learned that my 12:1:1 special education class did in fact have a paraprofessional, who I met when she returned with one of the kids who had just gotten into a fight.

It was a small room, big enough for a related service provider's office.  My class was mostly boys and yes, there were many more fights that year.